Leopard Walk up to Dragon
(posted without permission, but since the book pirates J. K. Rowling's
name I don't think they are in a position to prosecute. I can't guarantee
that it is completely right, but it is basically OK.)
Chapter 1: A Sweet and Sour Rainfall
Harry did not know how long this bath would take, when he would finally
scrub off that oily, sticky layer of cake icing. For someone who had grown
into a cultured, polite young man, a layer of sticky filth really made him
feel sick. He lay in the high quality porcelain tub ceaselessly wiping his
face. In his thoughts there was nothing but Dudley's fat face, fat as his
Aunt Petunia's fat rear end.
Harry was a 5th-year student at Hogwartz School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
At that heavenly amusement park his grades were the highest of all the students
in his class. Because of this, when summer approached he was named the Head
Student in his class. But for some reason Harry did not understand, Professor
Dumbledore firmly insisted that his summer practice be at his aunt's house
at 4 Privet Drive.
His objections to this were overruled by the Headmaster on the last day
before leaving school. Because of this Harry had been unhappy the whole day.
4 Privet Drive to him was his childhood heaven, but also his childhood hell.
His first day back, his cousin Dudley also returned home from school. This
was his nightmare. From the depths of his heart he was not willing to pass
summer vacation with his fat cousin, but there was absolutely no way to
change the fact. At the magic school he was a young celebrity, but at Privet
Drive he was still a protected object. [?]
During dinner, as always, Dudley had let loose his spoiled personality,
and not only yelled abuse at his fool of a father, but also threw a plate
of cake at Harry's face just because Harry said something to him that a polite
child should not say.
Lying alone in the large tub with the piping hot water flowing over him
and his soul calmed, he decided his evening's activity would be to take as
long a bath as he wanted. Though usually unwilling to accept anything from
the Dursleys, still he had decided to use the adults' bathroom. It was very
rare for anyone to enter the crude old man's bathroom. Even his wife and child
were not usually allowed in, so the chance of Harry's being disturbed or
upset was not very big.
Apparently his uncle let him do this because he was a little embarrassed,
Harry thought as he soaked in the tub, repeatedly thinking of how his cousin
Dudley had squandered his advantages with his repulsive actions.
Harry had very carefully planned this bath, because before he had gotten
up in the middle of the night and run around, and been caught by his Aunt.
He could not bear thinking back to the terror of that night, and hoped not
to experience it again. The invisibility cloak he naturally could not do
without for the purpose of security. Harry also wanted to bring "Introduction
to Transformations" so if Dudley blundered into the room he could change
into a huge monster and scare Dudley half to death. After thinking for a
while he felt pity for the obese pathetic worm, and decided to bring his
Marauder's Map instead. The Marauder's Map was scarcely less important than
the invisibility cloak. It was the most important tool for Harry to use when
he was breaking the school rules. The map would show anyplace Harry thought
of, including all the complicated twisting corridors and secret passages
from the wars of several decades ago. But the most important thing was that
it displayed the names of all the small points representing the locations
of all the people in the area. This way, if anyone approached the bathroom
Harry could get an early warning.
[This part needs work]
He thought back to that Thursday, the most important day in Harry's life,
the most unforgettable day in Harry's life. In the middle of the night Harry
secretly got out of bed, donned his invisibility cloak, and like a puff
of steam tiptoed down the stairs, and then went to the school hunting grounds,
like the night when the keykeeper Hagrid secretly took him to see the fire
breathing dragon, waiting to ??????
"Hey! Wormtail, how ya doin'?" Harry first called to the guy opposite.
Peter was his parent's classmate at Hogwartz School of Magic, and afterwards
became Voldemort's henchman. His good sense at the critical moment helped
him pull life out of death. So, the now aged Peter had become Harry's devoted
Peter smiled and bowed towards his idol Harry. In the muggle world Harry
still was only a normal young man, but in magic circles he was a spectacular
person. Because of his fame there were bad or jealous magicians and beasts
who wanted to smash Harry.
Ron faced the portrait of DaVinci's old man and said the spell: "Fried banana
pudding". The door creaked open showing a long crack where the moonlight shone
through the darkness. Harry hurried in, then turned and closed the door,
took off his invisibility cloak, and looked around.
Tonight Harry was a little uneasy wearing the invisibility cloak because
it seemed like overkill for a minor problem, but he couldn't really blame
himself, since kindhearted Harry had gone through many, many terrors at 4
Privet Drive. So far so good, the moonlight-drenched passage was empty, completely
still. At several key times (like when Dudley suddenly attacked him) he pulled
out the Marauder's Map ...
[skip to end of chapter]
"Oh, it's no use" Hermione said, closing the book with a bang. Who wants
their nose hair to grow curls?"
"Hahaha, anyway I don't disagree." Suddenly, from outside the window came
a strange, eccentric voice: "Harry, your nightmare is starting."
In the still night, in the wavering light of the candles, in the uncomfortable
storeroom, this would naturally frighten anyone. At this time came a strange
laugh, even if it wasn't a monster Harry and his friends were still chilled
to the bone.
"Who are you?" Harry asked, after a few minutes it took to summon up his
"Who am I? Why don't you come out and look, then you will know." that strange,
cruel, and malicious laugh changed into an owl's hoot. Outside the white window
the shadow of a giant tail waved back and forth like a dead 1000 year old
tree blowing wildly in the wind.
Hermione's wavering voice asked, "Harry, what should we do?"
Harry thought deeply for a moment, grabbed his glasses, and confidently
said, "Don't be afraid, let's go out and see. Earlier wasn't Voldemort fierce?
But in the end we always overcome him."
"Darn!" Ron cried out, quietly. "Isn't little Peter standing guard outside
the door? I hope he hasn't run into any danger."
"Don't worry, Peter is an old charlatan, he can take care of himself."
Harry grabbed Hermione's hand, stood up, and said "Come on, let's go out
The three screwed up their courage, opened the door, and went into the next
courtyard. There was no movement in the courtyard. Peter stood beside the
door motionless, clearly immobilized by some magic. Harry looked all around,
but did not see any sign of the object that had just spoken. Even the giant
tail had vanished into thin air.
What was happening? Probably it was just a poltergeist [naughty child?]
from the school playing a bad joke? Formerly there had been this type of
thing, which had been very frightening at first.
Several people were whispering. Suddenly a bright light appeared in midair,
and at the same time a heavy rain started falling.
"Ha ha ha!" that laughing voice came again, but this time it wasn't through
the window, but in midair.
The small courtyard, only tens of meters in circumference, collected the
rain. Harry and his friends didn't have time to think, they were instantly
"Hey, how come this rain is sweet and sour? Hermione, are you OK?"
He saw Hermione's soaking wet body gradually shrinking, her insides suddenly
tightened and a painful expression spread across her pale face.
The rain was very acid, the remaining people also felt it.
An even more frightening thing was taking place on Harry's body.
He hadn't time even to recover his attention from Hermione's change when
he suddenly realized his own two legs had grown soft and his whole body was
But he immediately realized, he was not squatting down, his legs were growing
short and thin. This is why he felt he was going down.
He turned his head and saw Ron and Peter's bodies also had begun to change.
In midair a pair of fierce bright giant eyes stared unblinkingly at them with
a cold laugh.
Harry was concious of flying through the air, flying towards a different
time and space, familiar though he had never seen it, only his Aunt Petunia's
crazy ravings and fat cousin Dudley's snores sounding one after the other.
Several thousand years away, a small world suddenly sprang out of a dream.
Chapter 2: Hobbit Harry
There was a hobbit, who didn't even know how to return home. He lived in
a hole in the ground, and didn't know where he came from or where he was going
to. He even didn't know why he had become a hobbit. This was Hogwartz School
of Witchcraft and Wizardry 5th year apprentice Harry Potter.
Harry lived in a hole in the ground. Not a nasty, dirty, wet hole, filled
with the ends of worms and an oozy smell, nor yet a dry, bare, sandy hole
with nothing in it to sit down on or to eat...
[from here almost to the end of the book, it is virtually identical
to The Hobbit, not just in plot, but in words too. Most of the chapter
names are the same, but some have been changed: for instance, chapter 6 in
the book, "Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire" is inexplicably changed
to "Flying Broom 2000". A quick scan did not turn up any reference to a broom
in the chapter.]
Chapter 20: The Doughnut Turns
... [finishes The Hobbit]
At a crossroads Gandolf said goodbye to them, because he wanted to return
to Hogwartz. Just before leaving he told Harry he should return to his uncle's
house at number 4, since he had disappeared for a month, and who knew what
trouble those moron muggles would get into.
After Gandolf left, the five of them rode their brooms, travelling with
the wind. Trees and cars along the roads below receded. Only when they encountered
the occasional passenger jet, the pilot and passengers would cry out, "Hey!
Flying people!", or "Hey! Aliens!"
Not far from the small town they found an isolated place to land, and walked
back according to the school rules.
"Bless me! What's going on?" Harry had hardly walked into his Uncle Vernon's
house when he cried out.
In front of Uncle Vernon's front door was a great commotion, and people
of all sorts, police and kind-hearted neighbors. On the grass in front of
the door police cars were parked with their sirens still going off.
In the distance he saw that fat pig Dudley. He hadn't seen the jerk for
more than a month, but there he was, certainly several pounds heavier, happily
rubbing his stomach.
"Harry! Harry is over here!" Dudley called.
Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia turned their heads and looked at Harry, so
angry they were not even able to think of punishment for an instant.
"You juvenile delinquent, where the hell did you run off to? We thought
you were gone without a trace."
"Look, the police are all here! You disobedient child!"
Fat pig Dudley ran over, pointing at his nose and saying loudly, "Harry,why
did you go away?"
Harry ignored them all, and along with Ron, Malfoy, Hermione, and Peter,
with head high and chest thrown out walked into the house.
The owl hooted a greeting and flew over, stopping on the porch. A pair of
owlish eyes stared fixedly at all the Dursleys, and they all nervously shut